healer

seeing in colours, only black and grey
and a distant red, so far away
just a speck, just a point, just a li'l dot
an innocent face tucked safe in a wallet
in a corner where dirty hands don't stray.

the wind whispers no answers
the leaves don't shake with glee
they just drop dead and they crumble
under heavy feet, with no plea.

somebody
heal my mind
i see only in black and gray
this autumn's so stuck in my head
this autumn's gonna leave me dead
heal my mind.

there are couples around, and kids at play
when they open their mouths, no words they say
empty bubbles, misty breaths,
petty squabbles, teary wreaths, living deaths
the grass, the flowers, all life is grey.

somebody
heal my mind
i see only in black and gray
this autumn's so stuck in my head
this autumn's gonna leave me dead
heal my mind.

will speak, or won't?
will hear or won't?
why should i worry?
shouldn't care
can't care
cos here is the silence
here, within
and that is the truth
here it is
here within.

will meet or won't?
will be or won't?
why should it matter?
shouldn't matter
doesn't matter
cos here is the emptiness
here, within
and that is the truth
here it is
here within.

will live?
will die?
no cares, no wares
the path lies ahead
the creepy garden path
walk along
walk alone
what cares?
who cares?
cos it here
the path
here it is
here within
the path.
alone.

I'm so happy

cos today i found my friends

they're in m y head

I'm so ugly

but thats okay, cos so are you

we broke our mirrors

sunday morning

is everyday for all i care, and I'm not sure

light my candles,

in a daze

cos i found God

i like it,

i m not gonna crack.

[nirvana - lithium]

Satellite

Am floating around
Far away from the ground
No baby of the earth
On the ninth cloud
I see the space
I see the oceans
I see the stars
I see a million suns

Like a satellite
I belong to the space
I'm a satellite
All day, all night
In an endless chase.

My vision goes far
I see worlds at war
I see darkness and light
With my electronic eyes
I see clouds beneath
I hold the waves
And toss them back
O baby, they're my slaves.

Am a satellite
I belong to no man
Am a satellite
In full flight
Run on my own plan

No earth, no moon,
I play my own tune
You cannot touch me
Try as hard as you might
Am a world of my own

Satellite. Yes.

-untitled-

you called me up,
at one at night
you couldn't tell
between black and white
I play your shrink
Am on the call
And now am giving up
Oh! This wont work at all.

No, I can't save you from drowning
I barely swim myself
No, I can't save you from drowning
I barely swim myself
Am just hanging on.


i assure you,
all is gonna be fine.
my own life,
am just walking the line
you assure me,
all is gonna go well
but we both know
only time will tell.

just hang on,
you'll learn.
just live on,
you'll learn.
you won't need help swimming anymore.

No, I can't save you from drowning
I barely swim myself
No, I can't save you from drowning
I barely swim myself
Am just hanging on.

We'll survive.

Am leaving old comforts
And knowing faces
Kindly smiles and friendly spaces
To find new comforts
And know new faces
Smile some more and win a few races.

I'm leaving the times
of homely ease
and binding joy
wanna abandon the high seatof honest hope
to grow up now, no more a boy.

I wanna find a path
to call my own
wanna pride on my success
and on failures, moan.

So the day that I breath my last,
may I look upon my past,
With a peaceful mind 'n' calm face think
that like a stallion, wild 'n' free
I 've trodden the green grass with glee
I 've trodden the green grass with glee

Here is a poem that a friend wrote...

I miss you.

On the long, dark nights when my soul is silent.

On the days I have no time to stop and think

I miss you.

I miss the fragrance of your hair; the bobblehead…

I miss the way you say "Oh" when something becomes clear to you all of a sudden.

I want you.

I want the days spent sitting on the same chair in the canteen,

The time spent listening to each other; the time spent in silence.

The smiles, for no reason other than our glad hearts, I want them all back

I want them back… I need them.

I need you.

I need to know you care,

I need to know that I haven't lost that which is the most precious to me.

You.

I love you.

I love the way you used to look at me coyly, under your lashes

I love getting lost in your big brown eyes, whose depths I could never fathom.

I hate the fact that I never realized it.

I love you.

Here's a song that never fails to touch me...Soldier Of Fortune, by Deep Purple.



I have often told you stories
About the way
I lived the life of a drifter
Waiting for the day
When Id take your hand
And sing you songs
Then maybe you would say
Come lay with me love me
And I would surely stay

But I feel Im growing older
And the songs that I have sung
Echo in the distance
Like the sound
Of a windmill goin round
I guess Ill always be
A soldier of fortune

Many times Ive been a traveller
I looked for something new
In days of old
When nights were cold
I wandered without you
But those days I thougt my eyes
Had seen you standing near
Though blindness is confusing
It shows that youre not here

Now I feel Im growing older
And the songs that I have sung
Echo in the distance
Like the sound
Of a windmill goin round
I guess Ill always be
A soldier of fortune
Yes, I can hear the sound
Of a windmill goin round
I guess Ill always be
A soldier of fortune

Song - I

this is a song of depair
it is a song of regret
it is a song
of all the shame and pain
that into my face now stare.

this is a song of grief
it is a song of repentance
it is a song
of all the hurt i've caused
that makes me wanna turn a new leaf.


this is a song the heartbroken
this is a song of full of sighs
it is a song
of soundless cries and rage
at myself, the result 's just a token

It rained today

It rained today…

The skies, all gray
The mood is set,
For us, today.
Is it you or is it me?
Or are these tears ours?
These tears that drop down,
Like wild flowers.
It’s been so long
Since we have met
Still we belong.
Neither your nor mine
It’s ours, this time,
We belong, no need,
To talk or mime…

It rained today…
And I saw you through the clouds
And every drop
That touched my soul
I knew -
It was you.

Wild winds blow
In the cold, we shiver
Fondness in the heart just grows.
The wait was long, but
It’s meant to be
We belong,
You and me…
Out peeps the light
Through the cracks,
And for that single sight
We do thirst.
Like the soothing rhythm of the rain,
Walk this walk
Down the lover’s lane…

It rained today…
And I saw you through the clouds
And every drop that touched my soul
I knew -
It was you.

Welcome to my funeral

welcome to my funeral
been waitin for long
they were gonna bury me, 'fore you came
but how do i go
without even a goodbye
without a cry, a hug, a sigh
without a sign of love
without a sign of pain
without a sign of grief at parting
without at least a drop of your tear , wetting my cold, cold cheeks.


and so, i waited
held on, hung on
but time's running out, love,
and lo! here comes Yama
on his black steed,
oh! curse my bad Karma
doomed for eternity.
i ll b chained n pulled
n pulled n pulled
till the rocks cut into my limbs
as bloody as hell
like a worm cut in two;
i ll thrash n thrash n thrash on the ground
till my heart is plucked out -
n it blasts without a sound:
then, lifeless n heartless, as dead as a stone,
i ll b gone, far far away.


but still some light, somewhere, flickers n moans.
And i'm still hanging on
this one last breath (i had saved it for you)
it seems so late
i'm slipping, slipping away, far...
but no, no, i aint cribbing,
cos death just saved me.
its better to kiss its cold, icy hands
than hear a cheater's song
sung over'n'over again
its better to mercifully kill off
than torture than pain, than hurt ,
you must come, now, won't you?
to enjoy my funeral-
i would be waiting for you, just for you, you know.
to hear your mirthful laughs,
mocking me,
as i lay, six feet under the heavy earth
to see your smiling face
as rats scramble all over me,
nibbling at my decaying self -
but, no, no, i aint cribbing.
cos death just saved me.

welcome dear, to my funeral,
the darkness, the cold, the chill:
does it make you feel creepy, dear?
(think of me, this my home for ever)
in this lovely graveyeard, am cold, damn cold;
wouldn't you for love's sake warm me up?
but, hey! dont answer,
i dont give a damn.
cos i m dead man, i m dead n gone.
but, no, no, i aint cribbing,
cos death just saved me.
yeah, death just saved me.

Go away, my love,
just go, get lost.
but bade me luck 'fore you go,
am going far..
with nerves all numb
n veins that carry warm blood no more
but its not all empty,
as you may think it may be..
there s hurt, n hatred n humiliation,
it courses through me,
it slithers through me,
like a serpent on the grass...
but no, i aint cribbing,
cos death just saved me.
and brought me back for you,
dead and dreary,
and you'll learn to regret, my love,
you'll learn to regret my death.

A lonely man's song

Am stuck, am stuck here
Can't move no more
Neither ahead nor backwards
The centre of a tug-of-war
The eye of a storm
The darkness under the candle stand.

And don't know how,
Don't know from where
The emptiness has crept back inside.

I was not like this
No I was not
I have smiled, I have laughed
I have had friends
Have been happy.

Don't know how
Don't know from where
The emptiness has crept back inside.

Nothing to occupy my mind
Except this hollow drumming
I long to be back in the grind
Of a rat race, of work and play
I want to get back into life.

A li'l bit of the sky

I aint very ambitious,
Am just a plain li'l girl, you see
And all I have
To call my own
Is a sweet dream to be free.
I don't want too much of money
Or a Lamborghini
(A small Maruti would do just fine!)
And when I die
I wanna be a star.
Up in the night sky
I wanna shine.

That's all that I want,
Truly my Lord.
Not much,
Just a li'l bit of the sky.
All I want is a li'l bit of the sky.

Don't wanna be drop-dead gorgeous.
Don't want a hero or a super-stuntman.
Just a sweet dear guy
To curl up with
And be as happy as we can.
Don't wanna be a teacher
Or a great preacher
(Just wanna live a life that is mine)
And when I die
I wanna be a star.
Up in the night sky,
I wanna shine.

That's all that I want,
Truly my Lord.
Not much,
Just a li'l bit of the sky.
All I want is a li'l bit of the sky.
A li'l bit of the sky...

Something on love...

I'm the grass that grows on a weary path
And shields the lonely traveller's feet;
I bathe in the dew, and bask in the sun
Until my doom in death I meet.

I 'm the cool little brook that flows on 'n' on
And satisfies the thirsty deer;
I live alone to support that life
And I do it without any fear.

I'm the white dove that adorns the sky
Bringing hope to one and all
I'm the support people look for
I'm the arrow, unstopped by any wall.

I'm the strength
That can squeeze out water from any stone
I'm love,
But for me, all are alone.

The Verses that go with Aragorn...

This is from The Lord of The Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein. Its simply beautiful.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be the blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

(For those who don't know who Aragorn is, pls pls read this book, its got something for everyone.)

Parting words

What is it that I fear?
The unknown or the untouched...
Or parting from those that I've come to love much...

What is it that this heart is aching for?
Leaving a home, or
For a sight of dear friends, here no more...

Heave a sigh, roll a tear,
No sorrow ever, that time can't bear
In a corner,
Lives a joyful thought -
These years, the love, the joy we've shared,
Its never ever gonna be lost,
Yes, the magic is never ever gonna be lost.

Why aint you coherent?

You've been talking to me
For the past one hour
But not one sentence makes any sense.
Fits and twitches,
Wild, wild gestures
Seems the light is passing through a distorted lens.
Come out clean, my friend,
Someone tell me -
Why aint he coherent?

I hear you grumble
Hear you rant and rave
And it scares me, to see this fearful dance.
High and low, the way
Your voice just flows
I simply hate your stance.
Let's be clear, my dear,
Let's make sense,

Why aint you coherent?

Matter of Convenience

He was the sad man of the town.
And they all spoke of him.
Some said
He was really down,
Some that, he was dim.
He had a nice face,
With dazed eyes
That spoke
Of different tastes.
Of hidden vice.

She was just another girl.
She walked to him and asked,
'Hey i ve heard about you...
That u r the saddest of
The men around.
The darkest creep
That walks this ground.
With a face so naive,
And eyes so lost,
How come so grave?
From where this frost?'

'Its all true, girl.
I am all that.
But i bother none
Least you of all.
I m just up to my job
And i go my way
I am no trouble
At the end of the day.
If i look sad, just lemme be,
I was born to be, I was born like this.'

And he walks away,
As they always saw him do.
With his radio on
And his hair, grey.
The girl stood looking,
She wasn't used to this -
If she asked a question,
None could give her a miss.

'I guess, he is just a fake.
It must be some
Kinda fashion.
Nobody ever lives with a constant ache
As if it were a passion.'
The next day, it was in the news,
The sad man aint really sad
Its just a matter if convenience,
To live like that,
May be, he thinks it's
Cool to be like that.

Pearls Before Swine

Its been a long time since I ve posted on my blog... The prelims ve left me drained, n I still havent started working for my university papers...
Anyways, this is from the only thing that keeps me going - Pearls Before Swine, the comic strip by Stephen Spastis. (Look into the Mumbai Mirror, its one of the very few good things bout this paper). This is the uncut version of a nursery rhyme (according to 'rat') :

Little Miss Muffet
sat on a tuffet
eating her curds and whey
along came a spider
who sat down beside her
and frightened Miss Muffet away.

****
Then Muffet went back
and checked her gun-rack
grabbing a .357,
finding the spider,
she sat dwon beside her
and blew that poor sucker to heaven.
****

I dunno what I wud do, if it weren't for the 'pearls' :)

This is a pic forwarded to me by my cousin. I am feeling like those laughing birdies now. Happy, with a capital 'H'.

I guess there is

a time for

everyone.

I learnt there is

always a

bigger plan.

Learnt there is room

for all and more

In the heart of

the father of man.

***

I see there are

cures for

breaches.

That he may find a way,

one who,

beseeches.

That fresh grass

may grow

green

On land, once

Singed by

hands, mean.

***

The Last Straw

This was written for some prof who had me really bugged and frustrated.


The last straw

Suit my needs
Throw in sand
Break the vase
With my bare hands
Stamp it, trample it, and laugh at its fate
Then strut around, in a pompous gait.
And why should the one who made it cry?
‘Cos I bought it with my hard-earned pie.

Time has changed
New fancies bloom
Sweep the bits
With the hideous broom
Laugh at, criticise and raise my brow
Dignity? Have you? Well then, don’t dare show.
None of your attitudes here; it’s my call
And why not? I’m the one who rules it all!

You git!
Clear off!
This is my space.
Bugger, butcher of ultimate distaste!
Asses you all
Low dimwits
You’re not worth a drop of my genius spit.

The Good Friend

This was written looooong ago in one of my melancholic moods. Don't ask me what I mean, please, those are forgotten. But I thought I might as post it and get over it, completely.



she remains the good friend
on and on, until the end,
till i find another one,
with new additional features, at least ten.
oh, how intimate then we were,
all the thoughts, feelings n memories shared
together we were the best of friends
n all lust, i thought, it transcends...
but she, oh my, had plans of her own,
she had weird ideas, deep in her bones
so at last, i had to make it known,
that our relationship hasn't by any means grown.
and that pissed off the silly girl,
she went home and into her bed did she curl
cried and sweared and cursed herself,
for being so stupid as to put her brain in the shelf.
how the hell, could she dare to dream,
of kings and kingdoms not in her realm?
how the hell, could she dare to see,
images that could never be?
and though she s sad, she resolves to smile,
and make no more attempts futile
what does she think, that people can't see through
that she s wearing a pretender's shoe?
still she remains a good friend of mine,
till i meet the next one along the vine.

Home Sweet Home!

been through those days when you are simply upset and you don't have any single reason to point your finger at? Well...
Right now that is the only picture that gives me hope.
Home Sweet Home. (Those who know this place will not be surprised.)
(Thanks to Punnu for this pic.)