Made by a friend, dunno what really to say, but feel kinda honoured ;)
Friday, December 30, 2005
I still do feel this way, if only, I was surer of what I feel...(God forgive me)
.............................................................
One day
Things were going right
All my goals were just in sight,
In my heart, arose a tune
As serene as the beautiful moon
Though I forgot most of its lines,
One remained all fresh and fine –
‘My castles still stand, though built of sand,
Because at work, is His hand’.
The mighty verse, it filled inside
And all the shadows seemed to be cast aside.
The cool wind whispered as it passed by,
Never let this faith die.
...
Today
Everything is turning worse
I feel like I am under a curse
No song, no rhyme, no prayer, no hymn
All my hopes are less than slim
My castles are all broken down,
The crown is replaced by a frown
I asked of Him, ‘Why desert me?’
I demanded Him to be my lee
And the cold wind shrieked into my ears
‘Humility, you fool, kneel and hear’
And lo! When I knelt ‘n’ a tear rolled down,
I knew it was me, who had let Him down.
...
Now
Here I am, and I cry and I cry
So happy, He’s given me one more try
As my sobbing heart does heave
Bit by bit my grief too leaves.
A silent song again rises inside,
‘I shall throw all my doubts aside
And my castles will surely stand,
Whether of brick or clay or sand,
Because at work, is His hand,
Because at work is His hand.
...
.............................................................
One day
Things were going right
All my goals were just in sight,
In my heart, arose a tune
As serene as the beautiful moon
Though I forgot most of its lines,
One remained all fresh and fine –
‘My castles still stand, though built of sand,
Because at work, is His hand’.
The mighty verse, it filled inside
And all the shadows seemed to be cast aside.
The cool wind whispered as it passed by,
Never let this faith die.
...
Today
Everything is turning worse
I feel like I am under a curse
No song, no rhyme, no prayer, no hymn
All my hopes are less than slim
My castles are all broken down,
The crown is replaced by a frown
I asked of Him, ‘Why desert me?’
I demanded Him to be my lee
And the cold wind shrieked into my ears
‘Humility, you fool, kneel and hear’
And lo! When I knelt ‘n’ a tear rolled down,
I knew it was me, who had let Him down.
...
Now
Here I am, and I cry and I cry
So happy, He’s given me one more try
As my sobbing heart does heave
Bit by bit my grief too leaves.
A silent song again rises inside,
‘I shall throw all my doubts aside
And my castles will surely stand,
Whether of brick or clay or sand,
Because at work, is His hand,
Because at work is His hand.
...
Thursday, December 29, 2005
This is the first pic of Kurt Cobain that I saw...scared the hell out of me, I mean, he does look scary. Jimi was pretty amused when I said that. And this was the pic that sent me 'googling' for Kurt Cobain and Nirvana.
For the first few days, I was hooked onto Smells like... only. Then Come As You Are, Lithium and many more songs were discovered. Why am I talking about Nirvana right now? Because, I just wanted to mention that Kurt is partly the inspiration for 'saw you feeding the ...' . (Him & someone else whom I cannot mention). Somehow I just had to put this down. Kurt s been haunting me for the past few days...May his soul rest in peace.
The Busy Man
Not that I don’t long for you,
Don’t think, don’t miss, don’t pain,
But I live the life of a busy man with
No time to spend in vain.
How each day of mine passes!
I slog from morning till late night
Then I decide I shall write to you
But end up just sleeping tight.
You know the woes of a busy man,
Now, don’t you, my dear –
Every minute is of great value
But don’t you have any fear
‘Cause every time I see the flowers,
The cards, the gifts, the cake-shop
All those birthdays and dates I ‘ve missed,
Right back into my mind they drop
And I pause, and I stand for a while
May be, I should give you a call
The next moment my mobile beeps
O! The stock market has taken a fall.
Don’t think, don’t miss, don’t pain,
But I live the life of a busy man with
No time to spend in vain.
How each day of mine passes!
I slog from morning till late night
Then I decide I shall write to you
But end up just sleeping tight.
You know the woes of a busy man,
Now, don’t you, my dear –
Every minute is of great value
But don’t you have any fear
‘Cause every time I see the flowers,
The cards, the gifts, the cake-shop
All those birthdays and dates I ‘ve missed,
Right back into my mind they drop
And I pause, and I stand for a while
May be, I should give you a call
The next moment my mobile beeps
O! The stock market has taken a fall.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Saw you feeding the crocodiles
Weird ways you’ve got,
Strange eyes speak of
Stranger wars being fought.
The lessons you were taught
If you see a hopeless life,
You would rather let it rot.
You crept away
You thought nobody saw,
But I was there, alright,
And I couldn’t believe my own two eyes
When I saw you feeding the crocodiles.
Strange eyes.
Strange wars.
Hopeless lives.
Let them rot.
What is it that you see
That you choose to defile
Your very own, shelter, your very own tree.
Why is it that you would rather flee
When you actually can rise up
And let your life be merry.
But the lessons you were taught…
You crept away
You thought nobody saw,
But I was there, alright,
And I couldn’t believe my own two eyes
When I saw you feeding the crocodiles.
Strange eyes.
Strange wars.
Hopeless lives.
Let them rot.
Strange eyes speak of
Stranger wars being fought.
The lessons you were taught
If you see a hopeless life,
You would rather let it rot.
You crept away
You thought nobody saw,
But I was there, alright,
And I couldn’t believe my own two eyes
When I saw you feeding the crocodiles.
Strange eyes.
Strange wars.
Hopeless lives.
Let them rot.
What is it that you see
That you choose to defile
Your very own, shelter, your very own tree.
Why is it that you would rather flee
When you actually can rise up
And let your life be merry.
But the lessons you were taught…
You crept away
You thought nobody saw,
But I was there, alright,
And I couldn’t believe my own two eyes
When I saw you feeding the crocodiles.
Strange eyes.
Strange wars.
Hopeless lives.
Let them rot.
Friday, December 23, 2005
The Pretender
How many masks can I wear?
Just how many more?
I need a thousand-and-one masks each day of my life,
I need thousand-and-one pretences to walk along,
A million lies, to tell myself,
It’s worth it to go on.
Within these fabrics,
What is it that I think?
Within this ‘somebody’
Who am I?
I am the pretender
Lost to myself,
Lost in the numerous identities
In the sands of the unknown.
And one day when I am out of supplies,
Will you, my friend, lend me one?
Just one more lie.
Just one more push, to go on.
Alas! If only someone knew me.
If only I knew me.
If only I knew me.
I am the pretender.
I survive on self-deceit.
I have lost myself
Lost in the numerous identities
In the sands of the unknown.
Just how many more?
I need a thousand-and-one masks each day of my life,
I need thousand-and-one pretences to walk along,
A million lies, to tell myself,
It’s worth it to go on.
Within these fabrics,
What is it that I think?
Within this ‘somebody’
Who am I?
I am the pretender
Lost to myself,
Lost in the numerous identities
In the sands of the unknown.
And one day when I am out of supplies,
Will you, my friend, lend me one?
Just one more lie.
Just one more push, to go on.
Alas! If only someone knew me.
If only I knew me.
If only I knew me.
I am the pretender.
I survive on self-deceit.
I have lost myself
Lost in the numerous identities
In the sands of the unknown.
Monday, October 24, 2005
The war my dada began...
There is this war that my dad began,
And I swore to him,
That it will go on
Go on and on, until I am gone
And then, my son will take the reins
And ensure, that it never ends,
The war my dada began…
What do I fight for?
Not for petty reasons, I insist.
Peace and security?
That ‘s what I meant by reasons petty.
It’s my pride that I protect
And of course, fears, many.
Hence, it must go on,
The war my dada began.
What happens to the lands I bomb?
Oh! Not much, really.
Anyways, death and suffering aint new to them
Nor are shells and war drums.
If you have the power,
Flaunt it, I say.
Hence. It must go on,
The war my dada began.
And I swore to him,
That it will go on
Go on and on, until I am gone
And then, my son will take the reins
And ensure, that it never ends,
The war my dada began…
What do I fight for?
Not for petty reasons, I insist.
Peace and security?
That ‘s what I meant by reasons petty.
It’s my pride that I protect
And of course, fears, many.
Hence, it must go on,
The war my dada began.
What happens to the lands I bomb?
Oh! Not much, really.
Anyways, death and suffering aint new to them
Nor are shells and war drums.
If you have the power,
Flaunt it, I say.
Hence. It must go on,
The war my dada began.
Monday, October 17, 2005
There is this question I ve been asking myself repeatedly, 'Why don't I go and study?' Well, I am still searching for an answer, in the meanwhile, I remembered somethingI wrote once upon a time. If only, I could feel that inspiration now...
Know it today,
Going to travel far,
Over all the peaks and over the stars.
Want to spread out the new wings I've grown,
And reach as high
As the far-away moon.
Going to travel far,
Over all the peaks and over the stars.
Want to spread out the new wings I've grown,
And reach as high
As the far-away moon.
...
When the sky is dark,
Black clouds shroud,
But like the stallion that raises its head high, proud
And gallops away over endless lands,
And feels his power, even when he stands.
Black clouds shroud,
But like the stallion that raises its head high, proud
And gallops away over endless lands,
And feels his power, even when he stands.
...
When the air is heavy
With strange fears,
The lone wolf’s cry, all hearts, it tears
With strange fears,
The lone wolf’s cry, all hearts, it tears
Standing high on the chilly cliff, he wails,
Not taken aback, by the worst travails.
Not taken aback, by the worst travails.
...
(chorus)
...And emerge through the rains,
Pierce through the clouds,
Like the first rays of the warrior sun.
Conquer all domains,
Dispel all the doubts,
Like the gaining light of a glorious dawn.
Shine on,
Shine on.
Pierce through the clouds,
Like the first rays of the warrior sun.
Conquer all domains,
Dispel all the doubts,
Like the gaining light of a glorious dawn.
Shine on,
Shine on.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Hi. What can be more boring than to sit at home a day before the exam and try HARD to cram as much stuff as you can, and that too, just after a disaster named "Statistical Mechanics" paper happened.
Well, what happened's this - I entered the exam-hall with the hope (actually, prayers) that last night's worth of cramming must be of some good (Please God!). And there enters our supervisor of the day, an amazingly sharp lady who informed us that there is no use studying now. "Either you know it or you don't"! (Quite true, but you can't deny a student his rights). She goes on with a sadistic smile, "Its going to be the same in your prelims". (My, she really hates us, doesn't she?) Well, getting back to the event, the lady hands us the papers, or rather threw us the paper (she actually tossed the papers to Dhanesh 'take 2 and pass on the rest'). Then comes the question paper....(drum-roll). A quick scan through the Classical Mechanics ques, okay, i know chaos! hurray!!! I turn the page over, Statistical Mechanics - hey! there is nothing I know! Look again, more carefully, NOTHING!!!
I stare at the board for a minute, as if something hit me on the back of my head, this can't be...2 nights spent cramming, all the tension, all the cramming(again), this is gotta be a joke. A very cruel joke.
Anyway, the optimist that I am, I start with classical mechanics, all I know in this part is 25 marks worth ques from Chaos. God knows how indebted I am to Chaos and sir's notes. I draw graph-after-graph for the Quadratic map (Am in love with Quadratic map). Spent 75 out of 120 mins on the beloved question. Then, another ques on chaos. Done with chaos and nothing else to do, I got stuck with harmonic osc and decided it just wasn't worth it to waste my energy anymore. But a problem...it's the first time I am leaving a paper blank...andI notice that The Lady looks at all the answer papers that have been submitted and smirks. Also, since last year, I ve forgotten how to walk out of an exam early. But, I get inspiration in the form of Devdatta and Rahul, if they can do it, so can I. And, the blank paper? well, i copied one ques onto my sheet and duly returned it to The Lady. (If my paper makes anyone happy, so be it).
Just walk on, I tell myself, don't look at her, don't look back, just get away. Back in the foyer, I meet my fellow-sufferers and ...well, we make merry out of our own misery.
BTW, I ve got a paper tomorrow. The way things are going, I don't see any change in the situation. Especially since I realised that studying is not gonna help (trust me, i studied 1 and a 1/2 out of 3 chapters, and there was nothing in the question paper that resembled anything I had seen in the text).
Just hoping I pass....
Well, what happened's this - I entered the exam-hall with the hope (actually, prayers) that last night's worth of cramming must be of some good (Please God!). And there enters our supervisor of the day, an amazingly sharp lady who informed us that there is no use studying now. "Either you know it or you don't"! (Quite true, but you can't deny a student his rights). She goes on with a sadistic smile, "Its going to be the same in your prelims". (My, she really hates us, doesn't she?) Well, getting back to the event, the lady hands us the papers, or rather threw us the paper (she actually tossed the papers to Dhanesh 'take 2 and pass on the rest'). Then comes the question paper....(drum-roll). A quick scan through the Classical Mechanics ques, okay, i know chaos! hurray!!! I turn the page over, Statistical Mechanics - hey! there is nothing I know! Look again, more carefully, NOTHING!!!
I stare at the board for a minute, as if something hit me on the back of my head, this can't be...2 nights spent cramming, all the tension, all the cramming(again), this is gotta be a joke. A very cruel joke.
Anyway, the optimist that I am, I start with classical mechanics, all I know in this part is 25 marks worth ques from Chaos. God knows how indebted I am to Chaos and sir's notes. I draw graph-after-graph for the Quadratic map (Am in love with Quadratic map). Spent 75 out of 120 mins on the beloved question. Then, another ques on chaos. Done with chaos and nothing else to do, I got stuck with harmonic osc and decided it just wasn't worth it to waste my energy anymore. But a problem...it's the first time I am leaving a paper blank...andI notice that The Lady looks at all the answer papers that have been submitted and smirks. Also, since last year, I ve forgotten how to walk out of an exam early. But, I get inspiration in the form of Devdatta and Rahul, if they can do it, so can I. And, the blank paper? well, i copied one ques onto my sheet and duly returned it to The Lady. (If my paper makes anyone happy, so be it).
Just walk on, I tell myself, don't look at her, don't look back, just get away. Back in the foyer, I meet my fellow-sufferers and ...well, we make merry out of our own misery.
BTW, I ve got a paper tomorrow. The way things are going, I don't see any change in the situation. Especially since I realised that studying is not gonna help (trust me, i studied 1 and a 1/2 out of 3 chapters, and there was nothing in the question paper that resembled anything I had seen in the text).
Just hoping I pass....
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