It rained today

It rained today…

The skies, all gray
The mood is set,
For us, today.
Is it you or is it me?
Or are these tears ours?
These tears that drop down,
Like wild flowers.
It’s been so long
Since we have met
Still we belong.
Neither your nor mine
It’s ours, this time,
We belong, no need,
To talk or mime…

It rained today…
And I saw you through the clouds
And every drop
That touched my soul
I knew -
It was you.

Wild winds blow
In the cold, we shiver
Fondness in the heart just grows.
The wait was long, but
It’s meant to be
We belong,
You and me…
Out peeps the light
Through the cracks,
And for that single sight
We do thirst.
Like the soothing rhythm of the rain,
Walk this walk
Down the lover’s lane…

It rained today…
And I saw you through the clouds
And every drop that touched my soul
I knew -
It was you.

Welcome to my funeral

welcome to my funeral
been waitin for long
they were gonna bury me, 'fore you came
but how do i go
without even a goodbye
without a cry, a hug, a sigh
without a sign of love
without a sign of pain
without a sign of grief at parting
without at least a drop of your tear , wetting my cold, cold cheeks.


and so, i waited
held on, hung on
but time's running out, love,
and lo! here comes Yama
on his black steed,
oh! curse my bad Karma
doomed for eternity.
i ll b chained n pulled
n pulled n pulled
till the rocks cut into my limbs
as bloody as hell
like a worm cut in two;
i ll thrash n thrash n thrash on the ground
till my heart is plucked out -
n it blasts without a sound:
then, lifeless n heartless, as dead as a stone,
i ll b gone, far far away.


but still some light, somewhere, flickers n moans.
And i'm still hanging on
this one last breath (i had saved it for you)
it seems so late
i'm slipping, slipping away, far...
but no, no, i aint cribbing,
cos death just saved me.
its better to kiss its cold, icy hands
than hear a cheater's song
sung over'n'over again
its better to mercifully kill off
than torture than pain, than hurt ,
you must come, now, won't you?
to enjoy my funeral-
i would be waiting for you, just for you, you know.
to hear your mirthful laughs,
mocking me,
as i lay, six feet under the heavy earth
to see your smiling face
as rats scramble all over me,
nibbling at my decaying self -
but, no, no, i aint cribbing.
cos death just saved me.

welcome dear, to my funeral,
the darkness, the cold, the chill:
does it make you feel creepy, dear?
(think of me, this my home for ever)
in this lovely graveyeard, am cold, damn cold;
wouldn't you for love's sake warm me up?
but, hey! dont answer,
i dont give a damn.
cos i m dead man, i m dead n gone.
but, no, no, i aint cribbing,
cos death just saved me.
yeah, death just saved me.

Go away, my love,
just go, get lost.
but bade me luck 'fore you go,
am going far..
with nerves all numb
n veins that carry warm blood no more
but its not all empty,
as you may think it may be..
there s hurt, n hatred n humiliation,
it courses through me,
it slithers through me,
like a serpent on the grass...
but no, i aint cribbing,
cos death just saved me.
and brought me back for you,
dead and dreary,
and you'll learn to regret, my love,
you'll learn to regret my death.

A lonely man's song

Am stuck, am stuck here
Can't move no more
Neither ahead nor backwards
The centre of a tug-of-war
The eye of a storm
The darkness under the candle stand.

And don't know how,
Don't know from where
The emptiness has crept back inside.

I was not like this
No I was not
I have smiled, I have laughed
I have had friends
Have been happy.

Don't know how
Don't know from where
The emptiness has crept back inside.

Nothing to occupy my mind
Except this hollow drumming
I long to be back in the grind
Of a rat race, of work and play
I want to get back into life.

A li'l bit of the sky

I aint very ambitious,
Am just a plain li'l girl, you see
And all I have
To call my own
Is a sweet dream to be free.
I don't want too much of money
Or a Lamborghini
(A small Maruti would do just fine!)
And when I die
I wanna be a star.
Up in the night sky
I wanna shine.

That's all that I want,
Truly my Lord.
Not much,
Just a li'l bit of the sky.
All I want is a li'l bit of the sky.

Don't wanna be drop-dead gorgeous.
Don't want a hero or a super-stuntman.
Just a sweet dear guy
To curl up with
And be as happy as we can.
Don't wanna be a teacher
Or a great preacher
(Just wanna live a life that is mine)
And when I die
I wanna be a star.
Up in the night sky,
I wanna shine.

That's all that I want,
Truly my Lord.
Not much,
Just a li'l bit of the sky.
All I want is a li'l bit of the sky.
A li'l bit of the sky...

Something on love...

I'm the grass that grows on a weary path
And shields the lonely traveller's feet;
I bathe in the dew, and bask in the sun
Until my doom in death I meet.

I 'm the cool little brook that flows on 'n' on
And satisfies the thirsty deer;
I live alone to support that life
And I do it without any fear.

I'm the white dove that adorns the sky
Bringing hope to one and all
I'm the support people look for
I'm the arrow, unstopped by any wall.

I'm the strength
That can squeeze out water from any stone
I'm love,
But for me, all are alone.

The Verses that go with Aragorn...

This is from The Lord of The Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein. Its simply beautiful.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be the blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

(For those who don't know who Aragorn is, pls pls read this book, its got something for everyone.)

Parting words

What is it that I fear?
The unknown or the untouched...
Or parting from those that I've come to love much...

What is it that this heart is aching for?
Leaving a home, or
For a sight of dear friends, here no more...

Heave a sigh, roll a tear,
No sorrow ever, that time can't bear
In a corner,
Lives a joyful thought -
These years, the love, the joy we've shared,
Its never ever gonna be lost,
Yes, the magic is never ever gonna be lost.

Why aint you coherent?

You've been talking to me
For the past one hour
But not one sentence makes any sense.
Fits and twitches,
Wild, wild gestures
Seems the light is passing through a distorted lens.
Come out clean, my friend,
Someone tell me -
Why aint he coherent?

I hear you grumble
Hear you rant and rave
And it scares me, to see this fearful dance.
High and low, the way
Your voice just flows
I simply hate your stance.
Let's be clear, my dear,
Let's make sense,

Why aint you coherent?

Matter of Convenience

He was the sad man of the town.
And they all spoke of him.
Some said
He was really down,
Some that, he was dim.
He had a nice face,
With dazed eyes
That spoke
Of different tastes.
Of hidden vice.

She was just another girl.
She walked to him and asked,
'Hey i ve heard about you...
That u r the saddest of
The men around.
The darkest creep
That walks this ground.
With a face so naive,
And eyes so lost,
How come so grave?
From where this frost?'

'Its all true, girl.
I am all that.
But i bother none
Least you of all.
I m just up to my job
And i go my way
I am no trouble
At the end of the day.
If i look sad, just lemme be,
I was born to be, I was born like this.'

And he walks away,
As they always saw him do.
With his radio on
And his hair, grey.
The girl stood looking,
She wasn't used to this -
If she asked a question,
None could give her a miss.

'I guess, he is just a fake.
It must be some
Kinda fashion.
Nobody ever lives with a constant ache
As if it were a passion.'
The next day, it was in the news,
The sad man aint really sad
Its just a matter if convenience,
To live like that,
May be, he thinks it's
Cool to be like that.

Pearls Before Swine

Its been a long time since I ve posted on my blog... The prelims ve left me drained, n I still havent started working for my university papers...
Anyways, this is from the only thing that keeps me going - Pearls Before Swine, the comic strip by Stephen Spastis. (Look into the Mumbai Mirror, its one of the very few good things bout this paper). This is the uncut version of a nursery rhyme (according to 'rat') :

Little Miss Muffet
sat on a tuffet
eating her curds and whey
along came a spider
who sat down beside her
and frightened Miss Muffet away.

****
Then Muffet went back
and checked her gun-rack
grabbing a .357,
finding the spider,
she sat dwon beside her
and blew that poor sucker to heaven.
****

I dunno what I wud do, if it weren't for the 'pearls' :)

This is a pic forwarded to me by my cousin. I am feeling like those laughing birdies now. Happy, with a capital 'H'.

I guess there is

a time for

everyone.

I learnt there is

always a

bigger plan.

Learnt there is room

for all and more

In the heart of

the father of man.

***

I see there are

cures for

breaches.

That he may find a way,

one who,

beseeches.

That fresh grass

may grow

green

On land, once

Singed by

hands, mean.

***

The Last Straw

This was written for some prof who had me really bugged and frustrated.


The last straw

Suit my needs
Throw in sand
Break the vase
With my bare hands
Stamp it, trample it, and laugh at its fate
Then strut around, in a pompous gait.
And why should the one who made it cry?
‘Cos I bought it with my hard-earned pie.

Time has changed
New fancies bloom
Sweep the bits
With the hideous broom
Laugh at, criticise and raise my brow
Dignity? Have you? Well then, don’t dare show.
None of your attitudes here; it’s my call
And why not? I’m the one who rules it all!

You git!
Clear off!
This is my space.
Bugger, butcher of ultimate distaste!
Asses you all
Low dimwits
You’re not worth a drop of my genius spit.

The Good Friend

This was written looooong ago in one of my melancholic moods. Don't ask me what I mean, please, those are forgotten. But I thought I might as post it and get over it, completely.



she remains the good friend
on and on, until the end,
till i find another one,
with new additional features, at least ten.
oh, how intimate then we were,
all the thoughts, feelings n memories shared
together we were the best of friends
n all lust, i thought, it transcends...
but she, oh my, had plans of her own,
she had weird ideas, deep in her bones
so at last, i had to make it known,
that our relationship hasn't by any means grown.
and that pissed off the silly girl,
she went home and into her bed did she curl
cried and sweared and cursed herself,
for being so stupid as to put her brain in the shelf.
how the hell, could she dare to dream,
of kings and kingdoms not in her realm?
how the hell, could she dare to see,
images that could never be?
and though she s sad, she resolves to smile,
and make no more attempts futile
what does she think, that people can't see through
that she s wearing a pretender's shoe?
still she remains a good friend of mine,
till i meet the next one along the vine.

Home Sweet Home!

been through those days when you are simply upset and you don't have any single reason to point your finger at? Well...
Right now that is the only picture that gives me hope.
Home Sweet Home. (Those who know this place will not be surprised.)
(Thanks to Punnu for this pic.)

my potrait

Made by a friend, dunno what really to say, but feel kinda honoured ;)

I still do feel this way, if only, I was surer of what I feel...(God forgive me)
.............................................................

One day
Things were going right
All my goals were just in sight,
In my heart, arose a tune
As serene as the beautiful moon
Though I forgot most of its lines,
One remained all fresh and fine –
‘My castles still stand, though built of sand,
Because at work, is His hand’.
The mighty verse, it filled inside
And all the shadows seemed to be cast aside.
The cool wind whispered as it passed by,
Never let this faith die.
...
Today
Everything is turning worse
I feel like I am under a curse
No song, no rhyme, no prayer, no hymn
All my hopes are less than slim
My castles are all broken down,
The crown is replaced by a frown
I asked of Him, ‘Why desert me?’
I demanded Him to be my lee
And the cold wind shrieked into my ears
‘Humility, you fool, kneel and hear’
And lo! When I knelt ‘n’ a tear rolled down,
I knew it was me, who had let Him down.
...
Now
Here I am, and I cry and I cry
So happy, He’s given me one more try
As my sobbing heart does heave
Bit by bit my grief too leaves.
A silent song again rises inside,
‘I shall throw all my doubts aside
And my castles will surely stand,
Whether of brick or clay or sand,
Because at work, is His hand,
Because at work is His hand.
...

This is the first pic of Kurt Cobain that I saw...scared the hell out of me, I mean, he does look scary. Jimi was pretty amused when I said that. And this was the pic that sent me 'googling' for Kurt Cobain and Nirvana.
For the first few days, I was hooked onto Smells like... only. Then Come As You Are, Lithium and many more songs were discovered. Why am I talking about Nirvana right now? Because, I just wanted to mention that Kurt is partly the inspiration for 'saw you feeding the ...' . (Him & someone else whom I cannot mention). Somehow I just had to put this down. Kurt s been haunting me for the past few days...May his soul rest in peace.

The Busy Man

Not that I don’t long for you,
Don’t think, don’t miss, don’t pain,
But I live the life of a busy man with
No time to spend in vain.
How each day of mine passes!
I slog from morning till late night
Then I decide I shall write to you
But end up just sleeping tight.
You know the woes of a busy man,
Now, don’t you, my dear –
Every minute is of great value
But don’t you have any fear
‘Cause every time I see the flowers,
The cards, the gifts, the cake-shop
All those birthdays and dates I ‘ve missed,
Right back into my mind they drop
And I pause, and I stand for a while
May be, I should give you a call
The next moment my mobile beeps
O! The stock market has taken a fall.

Saw you feeding the crocodiles

Weird ways you’ve got,
Strange eyes speak of
Stranger wars being fought.
The lessons you were taught
If you see a hopeless life,
You would rather let it rot.

You crept away
You thought nobody saw,
But I was there, alright,
And I couldn’t believe my own two eyes
When I saw you feeding the crocodiles.

Strange eyes.
Strange wars.
Hopeless lives.
Let them rot.

What is it that you see
That you choose to defile
Your very own, shelter, your very own tree.
Why is it that you would rather flee
When you actually can rise up
And let your life be merry.
But the lessons you were taught…

You crept away
You thought nobody saw,
But I was there, alright,
And I couldn’t believe my own two eyes
When I saw you feeding the crocodiles.

Strange eyes.
Strange wars.
Hopeless lives.
Let them rot.

The Pretender

How many masks can I wear?
Just how many more?
I need a thousand-and-one masks each day of my life,
I need thousand-and-one pretences to walk along,
A million lies, to tell myself,
It’s worth it to go on.
Within these fabrics,
What is it that I think?
Within this ‘somebody’
Who am I?

I am the pretender
Lost to myself,
Lost in the numerous identities
In the sands of the unknown.

And one day when I am out of supplies,
Will you, my friend, lend me one?
Just one more lie.
Just one more push, to go on.
Alas! If only someone knew me.
If only I knew me.
If only I knew me.

I am the pretender.
I survive on self-deceit.
I have lost myself
Lost in the numerous identities
In the sands of the unknown.